Destruction

I will now question the destructiveness of four weapons of ma . . . uh . . . destruction, by order of their . . . destructiveness. The first weapon I would like to bring to your attention is the snowball. Pros: if you wish not to harm your enemy, or you have no other weapon, the snowball can be an effective two-second blinding tool, and if you are lucky enough your enemy may drop his weapon in order to keep his face from freezing off. Can be a medium or short-range weapon. Cold seems to immobilize people. Cons: you must have perfect aim for a snowball to be an effective weapon, especially against someone who has a weapon of a higher destructiveness grade than the snowball. Furthermore, the weather must be snowy and you have to prepare your ammo on the site of the battle. The second weapon is one that does not necessarily deliver fatal results and will cost you nothing. The club takes virtually no maintenance aside from a replacement every couple fights. It is only a short-range weapon. If you like gory, blood-splattering-everywhere kind of battle then the machete is the weapon for you. The machete is also an inexpensive weapon but again it is only short range. My last and undoubtedly the most destructive weapon on the list is the grenade. The grenade can be very satisfactory if you enjoy seeing explosions and body parts flying everywhere. Unfortunately, unless you enjoy seeing your own body parts flying everywhere, the grenade is not an effective close combat tool. One plus: “Almost” certainly does count. Thus ends my investigation of the destructiveness of these weapons. My apologies to anyone who is slightly disturbed by the graphic descriptions of previously-described destruction. You may choose for yourself which weapon you like for yourself.

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